We would review the cards daily, and little by little, our thinking began to change. I remember sitting on the couch early in the morning and reviewing these cards out loud with Theresa. Meyer created 3x5 cards for Theresa and me to review to help us see ourselves as God sees us in five critical areas of our life. As we learned together, our relationship began to blossom in ways that we never imagined.ĭr. He taught us how to have a sober self-assessment-not only of ourselves but of each other. Richard Meyer helped Theresa and me learn “who we really were” in the eyes of God.
But his real gift to us was helping us move beneath the surface and dig into the core issues of our identity in Christ. He gave us the tools and the understanding we needed to solve the day-to-day problems in our communication and relationship. My inflated view of myself produced dysfunctions in our relationship just as her lack of self-worth and self-esteem did.Įarly in our marriage, Theresa and I received some excellent marital counseling by a wise and godly pastor, who also worked part-time as a counselor. In our marriage, Theresa and I found ourselves on a journey to learn how God actually sees us so that we could learn to communicate and actually make our marriage work. In my case, my insecurities led me to project and think too highly of myself, while the woman I married erred on the opposite side of the equation. It wasn’t until I discovered that I was already pleasing to God and didn’t need to perform for God that I began to develop a sober self-assessment. I would swing from feelings of condemnation and discouragement to ones of pride and self-righteousness depending on my performance. I read, studied, served, and never felt like I measured up to God’s standard.
As a result, I spent the first decade of my Christian life trying to please God through my performance. I caught it in bits and pieces as I read the Bible and studied, but I had no clear understanding of how God viewed me or how to live out that truth. But the thing that was missing in my life was an accurate view of myself-from God’s perspective. I learned to pray, get into God’s Word, share my testimony, share the Gospel, and serve others by leading Bible studies and doing discipleship. The first ten years I was a Christian, I received great training in the “how-tos” of the Christian life.
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